Spring is a season when the autonomic nervous system becomes unstable.
There are many reasons for this, but this year I learned that my hay fever is a big cause.

There are several reasons why hay fever affects the autonomic nervous system:

• The allergy reaction itself makes the sympathetic nervous system active.
• A blocked nose makes my breathing shallow, so the sympathetic system becomes stronger.
• Inflammation in the upper throat area affects the autonomic nerves and makes them unstable.
• A blocked nose makes my sleep light, so my autonomic system cannot recover well.

Because of these reasons, I often feel light dizziness and heart palpitations in spring.

There are many ways to calm the autonomic nervous system.
Recently, I learned that hugs can help.
But I grew up in Japan, and hugging is not common here.
I do not want to hug my husband, and my children are already grown.
So I have no one to hug.

Even so, I am still interested in hugs.
A hug is a moment when my body and another person’s body touch and overlap.
I think accepting someone in this way is a kind of kindness.

But then I wonder:
If hugs are a symbol of kindness, why do countries with a hug culture still have wars?

When people say “Be kind to others,” the word “others” often means only a small group:
people close to us, people who share our values, or people in our own community.

Kindness looks universal, but in reality, it often stays inside the group.

So even in cultures where people hug, violence can still happen outside the group.
Kindness and violence can exist in the same society.

I want to be kind to everyone.
But in real life, that is difficult.

I want to protect my own life, so sometimes I cannot be kind to people outside my inner circle.
Still, I do not want to lose my wish to be kind.

Just as the body has boundaries, kindness also has boundaries.
I want to accept these boundaries and slowly make them more flexible.

While thinking about this, I suddenly realized something.

I have a cat.

When I hold my cat, I feel a soft weight on my chest and arms.
I feel the warm body, and in that moment, I feel safe.

My cat makes me happy even when I only pet her.
And she gives me her low purring sound.
That sound is mysterious and makes my body relax.

Holding my cat is like a hug.
Maybe it is even better than a human hug.
It makes my boundaries softer.

I once thought, “It is hard to find someone to hug now.”
But I already have something like a hug in my daily life.

Thanks to my cat, my body’s boundaries become softer, and my kindness grows.
My spring discomfort also becomes lighter.

Kindness can grow even without another person.
Maybe it grows more naturally with a safe being like a cat.

I cannot be kind to everyone.
But I want to keep my wish to be kind.

Kindness does not come from big actions.
Maybe it grows slowly from small experiences in the body, like holding my cat.