My first social media was probably Mixi. I tried it a few times, but I could not get used to staying connected to people even at home. So I stopped using it soon.

My child’s generation is different. For them, it is normal to be connected all the time. They enjoy a new SNS where they can see where their friends are and what they are doing. (I forgot the name. It is newer than BeReal.)

They want to know what their friends are doing, and they want to share their own life too. For someone like me, who started using SNS as an adult, this feeling is a little hard to understand.

I finished reading Hon Yomu Futari by Ryo Kikuchi.

It was easy to read, and I finished it quickly. It reminded me of the old days of Twitter, and I felt a little nostalgic.

I also used to post “I finished reading this book” tweets. But I never made connections like the characters in the story. Maybe I felt safer without those connections. Connecting with people can feel a little scary.

After some time, I could not express my feelings in short tweets anymore, so I started a blog. My thoughts after reading a book are usually too long for short posts. I wanted a place where I could leave my feelings with some space.

Talking about a book with someone after reading it. Waiting for the same book to come out. These things move the heart, even if it is not love. Maybe it is easier because it is not love.

There is comfort in not going too deep. It feels good to talk about books with someone who keeps a gentle distance. This kind of relationship fits me well.

I have never been strongly drawn to Haruki Murakami. (Many people like him, so I say this quietly.) I have read some of his books, but I always feel a little distance.

I feel that many “Harukists” are men. As a woman, it is hard for me to enter scenes where male desire is described very directly. I cannot fully share that viewpoint, so I stay outside the page.

When I write down my feelings after reading, I realize that reading a book is similar to how I keep distance from people.

Not too close, not too far. Not touching too much, not leaving too much. I like this kind of distance.