I like Swiss roll cakes. These days, I can buy good ones at cake shops and even at the supermarket. But I cannot buy them all the time. I have to think about my body and my budget before I decide.

One day, I found a large pack of Swiss roll cakes at my usual supermarket. It had twice as many pieces as usual. I thought, “This is a good deal.” But when I calculated the price per piece, it was the same as the regular one.

I finished reading Learning Math Again for Humanities Students, supervised by Masahiro Yamamoto.

While reading, I often thought, “I understand this.” But after finishing the book, I could not explain the content well. My mind felt foggy, as if a soft mist covered my thoughts.

I understood the ideas. But they did not stay with me. I could not remember them clearly. I wondered why I feel such a distance from math.

Reading texts with many numbers makes me tired. It is not only because I am weak at math. It feels more like using a part of my mind that I do not use very often — like mental muscle pain.

When I read natural science or literature, the ideas stay in my mind more easily. Numbers are abstract, and they do not have the “hooks” that stories have. So even if I understand something for a moment, it disappears later like mist.

Some people find numbers interesting. I do not. When I see many numbers in a book, I skip them without thinking. This feels strange to me.

What is the difference between people who enjoy math and people who do not?

Maybe it is the way we see the world. Some people understand things through structure. Others understand through stories and relationships.

Maybe I simply do not have enough knowledge yet. And not enough interest. If I learn more, maybe I will slowly find numbers more interesting. I want to believe that.

While reading, I did have small moments when I thought, “I get it.” These moments were like small lights. Even if I forget the details, the shape of the idea stays somewhere inside me, like a faint map.

Just like when I calculated the “good deal” for the Swiss roll cakes.

If I try to connect numbers with my daily life, maybe I can become a little more interested in math.